Union

I really don't know when I wrote this and what state of mind I was in when I wrote this or who I am writing about, but thought would publish this old draft anyway 


Me?

Turmoil all around
Calmness within

They?

Calmness all around

Turmoil within

Thoughts

Emotions

Confusions...small

UNION...Grand

Festivals from my eyes!

Diwali 
What does it mean to me?

A time for spring cleaning

Donning those overalls :) climbing up the rickety ladder and washing and wiping those year old walls. Do you think I am joking?

And now its all about being the pujari of two houses and one office :)


Rakhi
What does it mean to me?

making a list of 'all' my brothers (twice the number of fingers and two more --literally more than a handful :))
We are 3 sisters but I don’t have a brother as in a no real brother and probably that’s why all my first cousins, and some of my second cousins form the focus of our attention during this festival this time round

Rakhis go all around the globe for us now as all brothers have spread their wings :)


Holi
What does it mean to me?
Colors, unreconizable faces, Water, Balloons, Rangoing some people completely and just putting a Teeka on others

Seeing people of all ages in Silver Oaks come out and play this festival of colors with unabashed aplomb.

Most importantly this is my time with Yohaan and really watching him have fun and having fun because he is having fun :)

Lies caress my lips

Jan 2005

Justuju hai sirf tumhari garm saanson ki in honthon ko.
Kaan main sirf tumhare kasmasane ki hi awaaz ho

Chahe saraab ka hi nazara mile in aankhon ko,
Par jab palakein band ho toh tumhara hi chehra ho Zehen main,
Tumhari hi khushboo ho rooh main,
Tumhari hansi goonje mere khayalon main..
Main is kadar kasmasaoon jaise ki
Hawa ke sehlane se darakht ki pattiyan kasmasati hai

In hothon ko jooth ka sahara de do
In aankhon ko saraab ka nazara de do
Bund palkon se tumhe chhoone ka bahana de do
Tumhari khushboo main ghul jaoo
Bus itna sa mujhe tum kinara de do

And Daisy is no more who she used to be
Ether diffuses into ethereal space....

Daisy

Smiling eyes, Warm heart, Loving touch and a caring start, to my new year- Daisy

This young at heart lady is part of my workplace who has quickly become a part of my day,and all the nice moments in my day. Someone who puts a smile on my face with her warmth and care. I am sure ther are others who feel the same.

Just wanted to be grateful to God to surround me with beautiful people like Daisy. Thank you God!

The Shift

New year rings in and with it we ring into our new place.

Yes. we have shifted yet again :)
Packing and Unpacking , unsettling and settling again, a process that takes up a lot of you...but its all worth it once you see what your efforts have done to the empty spaces you had entered...a house done up, ready and inviting, happy and smiling. Its a treat. But the treat is yet just half done :) what with both of us working, its a slow but sure process.

However we already had our first round of guests in the new year! The 2nd day of the new year, my cousin rang up: "Hey how close are you to Acres? 2 km? cool! we'll be there. Both of us smiling, tentatively inviting. But its lovely to have your own step into your home....somewhat a relief.

Next day was a pizza treat day! I was baking! so we decided to invite another set of cousins, actually two. The dining table 'finally' unwrapped, hosted this small party of hungry imps :). By the way this dining table is a new one which di and jiyaji designed for our home. Looks good! Quite neat actually!
Thanks di-jiju lovely wedding gift :)

Unlike the last place, this place is a rented one, yet feels like our own. Big spaces, green views, super kingsize bedroom, spacious loo - unlikely to find in Mumbai.. though short on /devoid of storage, its a lovely place. When he is able to get his good night's sleep that means he has finally settled into his new home.

Our drawing room is going to be one rocking area with his record player and his DIY record/amp/speaker trolley taking the centerstage here. I think we can have some cool parties here. Watch out for invitations guys and don't miss out!

He has also set up "The Parish" here. One entire room dedicated to his newly launched ad agency. His thinking den and work pad.

For me, its a convenient little pad where i call for everything over a phone, Thanks to Chamunda verything is here in a jiffy!
Neighbours are good. maids are good, little expensive though, but then one cannot have everything just to one's liking right? especially not the maids ;)

I am actually looking forward to using the clubhouse now - TT and swimming will be my regulars with some splashes of gymming! not a fan of indoor exercise.

The shift. Worth its while. Thank you God. Thanks Manav.

Verdant Mornings!

Happy mornings!
Amidst city clutter, ensconced in a cocoon of verdant serenity
Green and peaceful
Reaching out to the skies
My lover by my side
Egging each other to step up
Falling into a rythmic gait
Effusively silent, sensing togetherness.
Discovering new things each day
I know they are here to stay
These lovely mornings...

My Golden Flaming Silver Star Retriever!

That flaming ball of fire cools down

Setting beautifully, what splendid colors

Carrot Pink, Orangeindigo and Vermillionblue,

Royal Violet, Prussian purple and Grey of many hues

The dusk dawns and the night falls

Till Silvery Black is all thats seen

Stars drop down and heavens stand tall

Marred by scattered fluffs of cotton balls

The mooney crescent cradles that one 'lone' shining star

My star, My friend of many woofs

Of bounding leaps and flapping ears

Of twinkling eyes and lapping tears

Of wagging tail and digging paws

Fluffy Mud, My handsome stud

I missed you but each time I see my lone star I would know its because you are there that I live my life fully. Thank you Mud.

Nemo's Rebirth and After....

Nemo's Rebirth...
The soul, seeking freedom. The bowl is no more a boundary. No plastic floats.
Just heart, mind, flesh...all that's real and feeling..
Hurting and healing...
The life energy ready to give and take
Poised for a new start its a new world out there..A resolve that's made..

This time as a bird...building his own nest,
To and fro, day in day out, twig by twig, stuck together with the love in his heart and the faith in his mate..
A resolve to build it strong..stronger...
As he lovingly sees their little bough nest being put together, the bird,
He knows the love nest will hold forth any storm, any tempest, any cyclone..

With that faith in God, he flies now,
Soaring, higher, farther, free'er,
Fresh wind in his face and his mate as his brace..

Smo(c)king!

Kill me!
Burn me!
Asphyxiate me!
I want to die inside!
I don't have anyone to love!
Not even myself
I don't have anyone who loves me!
Not even me!
hah! life is too short enjoy it!
Why bother about health and things like that!
Let me get that taste!
I have to die anyways, let me live it to its fullest!
Live by dying every day!!!!!!
S'mo(c)k'e myself to death!

You must be wondering me, that hard core advocate and supporter of "No s'mo(c)k'ing", why is she writing this!!!

Today a colleague of mine 'N', sits right next to my desk, came in and said, ":) Hi! Are you better today, in mood and health?"
(was not feeling well at all yesterday and was under tremendous work pressure)

"Much better thank you", said I and then a whiff of s'mo(c)k'e, I was surprised and shocked!
"N, you s'mo(c)k'ed!!!!????"

":(, Yes I did."

"I thought you don't s'mo(c)k'e , had quit?? :-0"

"Yes, actually a friend caught me down at the porch and just s'mo(c)k'ed...my wife also does not know. I used to s'mo(c)k'e 15 a day at one point in time."

" Then how did you manage to leave s'mo(c)k'ing....it must have been really difficult right, doesn't the s'mo(c)k'e beckon you?"

"Yes, was difficult, but just left it, In B school I used to s'mo(c)k'e 15 a day and used to get tired in 2 games, now even 10 at a stretch don't tire me out. By the way do you know that a person who s'mo(c)k'es, and leaves it needs atleast 7 years to repair all the damage done? I advise everybody, don't ever s'mo(c)k'e once you have left. Not even that one off, because two lead to four, eight and in no time you are back to s'mo(c)k'ing as many!

Whats to it? Whats so great about s'mo(c)k'ing? There's nothing good about. Can you imagine being held in a gas chamber, where there is very little oxygen and you are burning and asphyxiating to death. Where you can't breathe because well there is nothing to breathe in, there's only s'mo(c)k'e that breathes you in. Just because its not you but your lungs that are facing this, does not mean you should happily keep s'mo(c)k'ing while your lungs go through this gas chamber every second of the time you spend s'mo(c)k'ing. I don't understand, I don't....

You'll See It When You Believe It!

Carrying on I thought life is going great
Suddenly a streaking light and I put on the brake

A voice said

"Take stock
You might just mock
At your own complacency
Without knowing your actual potency!"
Why don't you start living?
Start Living Now, LIVING DELIBERATELY!"

"And here I say again my friend- Take stock
Take stock now and hold on to that thought!"

Belief leads to your Experience
Belief leads to Reality you make!
Belief leads to what you choose to create
Belief leads to your own fate!

Your own belief, Deliberate and Sure
Knowing, Conscious, Aware and Pure!
Nothing my friend, nothing more
Your own belief, Deliberate and Sure

Stop believing --> "All what I have is where it ends "
Believe instead -->"This is the beginning of great things at my end"
There's more than meets the eye to see
Start creating your own reality

The mantra it seems is very plain
Behold!
Power of this pulls you out of the mundane

I'll believe it when I see it!- STOP NOW!!!
You'll See It When You Believe It!-
Live Deliberately, Create Reality That's How!

Believe it!

I am your Conscience, talk to me..

Its the most difficult thing to do
Standing naked in front of your conscience,
Your mirror, the clear transparent reflector
While you identify your spots, weaknesses, at times your ugly being
It requires Trust, Belief, Faith in your conscience

But do it.
Its the conscience that will then show
At the end of the dark tunnel that faint but definite glow
And each time you get lost in the dark
It will show you the truth all stark
Nudge, cajole, shake you up to remind,
Never should you go back into the dark rewind

It will change the hideous to the gorgeous
And you would come out stronger, a character that will stand, unhindered, unfaltering,
High in the face of all the wind, the storm, the tempest
You my dear will ride ahead, Tall, soft but the toughest
Shining bright, proudly modest.

Not just because its your conscience that will be true, to no other but you
But because its 'only' your conscience that will be true, to you

So don't lie, don't hide, don't run away
Treat me as your conscience
Talk to me....
Whole Soul Truly Truthfully
As if its you, your conscience
Show me your blemishes, show them to me
Let me put a loving balm,
and take away your worry

Don't lie, Don't hide, don't run away
Please take my hand as I take yours
I too am not perfect, I too have my blemishes
Give me that thrust to put my trust in you
Allow me to show you my blemishes
Lets work on it together
I am your conscience
Talk to me...

"Con"nected

t kept saying
"Dont build things on your past
Know that it wont last".

It may be ok for you to stay "con"nected
But do you realise that the other feels conned instead.

Too many negotiations; will not do, will do
How does one believe what is being said will be stuck to?

You may think all this is ok,
It is not believe me.
Because you have to sometimes
From the other's point of view see.

Being nasty only infuses poison
Fights, arguments for no rhyme or reason
It does not lead to anything other than hurt
Turning all that was gold, into nothing but dirt.

Kuchh Yaadein, Kuchch Lamhein Aur Kuchh Intezaar..

"Pained at each pore, Right down to the core
To the edge, Hanging from that ledge
I know you down there somewhere..
I just wish I knew for sure, Somewhere=right where I fall"

"Hum aapke intezaar mein bikhar jaayen to kya?
Farz sirf itna ho ki ye waqt minuton main..
.. aur minute lamhe bankar bikhar jaaye.
Intezaar yun to na karwaaiye..."

Lover's tiff, Yet that romantic whiff..
"Wherefrom?" I ask
You say " 'coz in my heart you are cast."
"What matters?", questions me
You say, " It's our hearts don't you see?"
I Smile and say, " I love thee, I love thee" :)

Kolkata Diaries-I

A few experiences in the City of Joy all packed in my one year stint there...

Putting them down as Kolkata Diaries-in no particular order..

19th June 2006

ye zameen chaand se behtar nazar aati hai humey.........
another Beautiful night...wet to the core....romantic..Raining. Absolute Bliss.
mere khuda tu mujhe ek aur zindagi de...

It all started with a hot, humid itchy day, that was scorching to the core..the real heat of June.and June in Kolkata...As the day drew to a close, it gave way to a breeze, probably from the mountains. the cool breeze slowly took over the heat of the day and then the clouds just covered the entire sky, giving no space to any kind of scorcher..

and slowly the drops fell from underneath the scorcher, from tiny and spaced out to bigger drops and pouring..
and suddenly Someone realised that adding in the wind would create that 'perfect' space...it happened..the wind simply poured inside
Sprayed all over my body, filled my senses. It poured back into each pore, that, which had managed to ooze out in each of its scorching milli and mega moments..
Nature has its own way of giving all that it takes from you.
Beautiful....

....as i hum another song in my head
woh lamhe, woh baatein, koi na jaane..thi kaisi raatein, barsaatein..wo bheegi bheegi yaadein...

"Life of Pi" by Yann Martel

This book is my all time favorite. When I read it, in Kolkata, a little more than 2 years now, I was quite overwhelmed with the most extreme reactions, most contradictory feelings and thoughts and eventually this is what I put down:

A story-unbelievably true.
A must read if one wants to know and believe in wonders of nature, the strength of mind, imaginings of closed eyes, man's animal instinct, animal's human instinct,
A day of nights, a night of days...
Highs, lows, crests, troughs, love, hate, disgust, hunger, starvation, rejuvenation.

If one wants to believe in "Life", the value of just "a drop" of water, of an oar, of 7 oars, of a pen, paper.

Of another life, of companionship, of someone to talk to, of no one to talk to,
Of an anchor, hope, belief, of giving up hope and then,
Of miracles, miracles because of your own belief in not giving up, of moments of despair and those of prayer.

Importance of intelligence, and of non intelligence.

A story of..understanding life after death, death after life- of life and death together
Of smell, sight, taste, touch, hearing
Of no smell, no sight, no taste, no touch, no hearing.
Of existence, of non existence, of shapes and no shapes...

I think am doing injustice to this book, by trying to describe these 100 chapters. It just has to be read and experienced as you read...

:) this smile plastered on my face!

:)
hehe!
:)
:))
:)))

All smiles....why?
well got to know something so reassuring that well just cannot get this expression off my face
Somebody considers me family :P
hehe! hehe!hey hey hey!!!
yipppie yipppie yay!

Thanks T!
Thanks T's D
Thanks G (as in Thank God :)
:))
:))))

S, i want to share this with you!

On the other side of 30

I celebrated my 30th Birthday last week on Tuesday.
Well don't gawk at the 'figure'! And just in case you are thinking about curves move over!
It is the 'figure' 30 that am referring to!

I feel 30, just that 30 is not an age which is defined as 'old' by any standards (surely not by my standards)
For some reason though, people declare 'THIRTY!!!!'...as 'o...ld' and phrases like,
"hmm..so you are now brinking on 30 huh!" OR "how does it feel to be..ahem..'On the other side of 30'??!!"
....ring all about!


On the other side of 30!
they ask me? I answer:
I see a whole new world

On the other side of 30 I see
Permanency
Stability
Financial independence and a firm foothold in my career
Steadied emotional anchorage
Maturity strengthened with experience

Indeed..A whole new world
A new beginning!


I am grateful to God, truly grateful to give me wide experiences, varied in nature..

Let me tell you a little about my birthday...and the bitter sweet run-up to it..


Got a special midnight treat
As I was with someone sweet!
And then a score,
spent standing outside my home door!

Special elders slept through the midnight wishes
While I shed a tear as was really missing my sisses!
With the bright sun came morning
And was showered with blessings

Love, hugs and kisses
made up for all the misses :)

While i wore dabs of satinny orange on a black beautiful cover,
My friend beautiful gave me a top satinny, lots of flower
Expecting the day from bitter to sweet a range
half a wonderful day at work, what a change!

The last working quarter came with lilies and roses
A cake to cut and many a birthday proses
A call sudden but wonderful announced a special entry
And I ran down, covered six floors from the pantry

Comments on how I carry my dress
Feelings mixed, angered happiness
Special someone sat beside Daffy Lean
Waiting for me to take him to oriental cuisine

A round of reconciling...to and fro's
Half smiles and half furrowed brows
Forgiven, forgotten, misunderstandings clear
Its lovely to have by your side someone very very dear

Contemplating what after the Lovely munch,
Should it be the big screen - "When we met"
or time with each other maybe books a bunch?
Aromatic being, Books, Poetry, Coffee...., totally swept!

Followed by prayer for the new born girl
and an overwhelmingly cute birthday jingle
Walking up home with that someone special
Did not know what was in store..? Truly exceptional

A connection, an apparel,
A good read, fragrance, lots of sparkle!
Her cake, the very best!
3 generations! aint I blessed :)

Aaah too early to have taken rest
My bearer asked me to take the bump test!
So 30 in all is what I got
loads of fun with pain was fraught :)

You must be seeing all the smiles now
Its because by then I had started to wonder 'WOW!
And then with my predecessor's predecessor
Went to have our evening chow!

Special someone was so much family
Unspokenly accepted, the path now less up-hilly
Another wonderful couple friend joined
Happy Beginnings were slowly coined!

Thank you One and Thank you All
For making it big, a thing so small.
I love the fact that we are together
Was in the air, just like a feather

Feather to wings, it won't take time
Higher and higher, a tough climb
Flying, the sky of happiness we will find
Locked into togetherness we shall bind

That's how was my day of birth
30 years ago when I landed on earth
was it a stork, or from heaven i fell
don't know, but when its over in this very earth I'll gell

Teer-e-Ishq

Was going through Atishbazi's blog. What a superb shayar he is...
What I have written has been inspired by someone else, but the spark is attributed to AtishBazi
Aaah! also can't forget the push that Rhea's blog entry on her uncle's shayari gave to me

Arz Hai...

"dard-e-ishq tera bhi jawaab nahi!
maar daala hume ye haqeeqat hai khwaab nahi!
agar hai khwaab to khwaab main hi jee lene do,
aisi zindagi se kya jahaan teer-e-ishq aar paar nahi!"

Revel in Blood?

One's blood another's taste
One's a beast another's chaste

One's meat another's meal..
One's pain the other does not feel..

Some not aware of the pain they go through
Some aware yet continuing to chew

Sucking blood, gory sight,
To pacify the palate,their plight
We are stronger let's show our might!

Revel in their beats stopping, beasts that we are,
Cut them through not knowing its no other than us who we scar

You may ask though...
Greens, don't they have life? they do
Don't they feel the pain? of course that too

But its not just about choosing the lesser evil of the two,
Its also about choosing what nature sought us best to do
We are not meant to eat veal,
Our bodies this clearly reveal

Our constitution doesn't allow us to eat meat,
Else we would have had it raw
unlike the greens that we can have as per nature's law.

Our anatomy and taxonomy
Say we are closest to fruit eaters
Eating meat, fish and flesh
It is clear that Nature deters

Our Teeth, our Jaws, our Belly our Juices
all are meant for processing green
If you don't believe me yet,
go through these links, and you'll see what I mean!


http://www.tierversuchsgegner.org/wiki/index.php?title=Taxonomy
http://www.ourkarnataka.com/madhwakalyana/vegetarian.htm