I travel between my workplace and hometown for work using shared cabs. That is the only way to travel for lack of a proper public transport, unless you are driving by yourself. I don't prefer the second option because its crazy driving through a perpetually jammed road. So everyone wishing to head back home from Delhi, waits for these cabs at a common point.
It usually gets late for me by the time I leave office and reach this point. And more often than not females to males ratio is very low. Today, it was zero...
As I waited for a cab to come, I saw the number of people waiting, like me, increasing. Time ticked, number of men increased and hopes of getting a cab kept decreasing.
Finally...a cab, with a capacity to carry just 5 people, did stop. All the men rushed forward to take available seats, as much as I did. I was eyeing the front seat to avoid getting squashed in an all men's backseat!! But another man reached out for the front gate and almost got into it, when the girl in me requested him to sit at the back (which was slowly getting filled). Poor fellow actually got out, but by that time the backseat to was full and the cab started
I felt pathetic at having taken advantage (in a way) of my girl status, to gain the seat, while he got left behind. Even though I know that it would not have beeen prudent for me to have fitted myself in the backseat with men floating all around, still felt wretched at having used my weaker sex status to gain something from someone who had already claimed it.
Its amazing how we actually use this factor- being a girl- to our advantage most of the times. Sometimes by using the "weak" status of women-Be it in the bus to gain a lady's seat, or in front of the ticket counters to avoid standing in the long queue, or to get parking in better spots!! and at other times by asserting our "Equal to Men"/ "Stronger" status- the feminist.
Am sure the opposite sex could not be more confused about the definition of weak, strong and equals! or maybe we are the ones confused about it!!!!
Wondering if you may have come across instances where we confuse ourselves into being weak/strong/ equal t men, depending on the situation. For starters:
- How many of us have actually gotten up to give a seat in the bus to an old lady/man? I hope quite a few. I do this more often than not.
- How many of us having actually gotten up to give a seat in the bus to a young man. Am sure none. Me neither!
- How many times have you decided to give Lady's Line a pass and actually stood in the long queues for that railway/airline/movie ticket?
8 comments:
I think its pretty charming that the ladies use their "weak sex" image! in fact that coupled with the hard balled proifessionalism is quite a turn on!
Nice flow of thoughts. Sometimes the things happen in such a way, that we loose our control on the actions, and seems that is what happened with you too. But... you have realised it, as well as accepted, and it's a big thing to accept our mistakes even on which we have lesser or no controls.
Galtiyaan to ho gayi hai hamse,
Galtiayan to karta hai khuda bhi kabhi,
Baat nahi faayda uthaane kee ye,
Socho agar tum ye...
Udaarta hai ab bhi bachi hui,
Insaano mein kahin,
Hota kya agar wo insaan,
Deta wo sthan kisi aadmi ko,
Socho agar ho sakti hai,
Udaarta ye us insaan kee,
Diya ho sthan wo,
Na kisi aadmi ya aurat ko,
Dekha ho usne kahin,
Ek insaas basta tumme kahin...
Socha hai tumne bhi bahut,
Udarta hai basti yahan bhi kahin,
Varna dekhta hai palat kar kaun,
Aaj kee bhaagti zindagi mein kahin...
Let me share something with you ... U have been an athelete, have run in relays and long runs, remember how the track looks like and how are the runners placed. The runner standing at the outward corner is given the 1st position to start, the one next to his /her lane gets position 2 etc. We call this the handicap, actually they all run the same length only positioning is slightly different so the handicap is needed.
Now coming to what u feel, we women are positined differently from men, we are socially, culturally, biologically , emotionally given that outward track (the longer track) so technically we must also get the handicap to be in a fair game.
As far as the situation goes, if I was in a situation like this I'd like to believe that the man had an option to say no sorry maam, I'm here first and I stay. But he chose to show courtesy. Thats a choice he made (am glad he made that choice)... the consequences he deals with are his owing to his own actions!
U can't be nice to someone and not be responsible for yourself if being nice works the wrong way for you. you are either nice or not nice period!
Ab jung mein bhee jaayenge ...marne se bhee darenge ...aise to nahin chalega na.
Man and woman can never be compared they are two different species who were made by God to compliment each other and not compete with each other.
While there are places where we get the handicap, there are many places that men 'enjoy the priveledge of the handicap'.
Parish,
aaah u seem to love flattering women!!
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Soul Poetic,
"Socho agar ho sakti hai,
Udaarta ye us insaan kee,
Diya ho sthan wo,
Na kisi aadmi ya aurat ko,
Dekha ho usne kahin,
Ek insaas basta tumme kahin..."
How true. tumhare expression ka jawaab nahi. kabhi kabhi mujhe doubt hone lagta hai ki ye blog main apna pad rahin hu ki tumhare page pe hu :-)
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Stories Untold-
Liked the analogy used to describe the placing on the athletic track to the positioning of men and women. However do not completely agree with what you have expressed
Do agree that- to each his own for the actions he/she has chosen to undertake. Yes, the man did have an option to say, "no sorry maam, I'm here first and I stay." But the fact is he chose NOT too. He put the other person's need before his own. That's where I give him credit over me for being the stronger sex. (not as selfish as I, in that moment)
There is competition and then there is cooperation. Believe, that Cooperation has, more oft than not, delivered better results than competition.
Life! I think falttery is the only thing that gets men anywhere with women ;-)
Its a very common incident which we come across our day to day life.
Normally ladies use their "weak sex" ( i can rather use this word as WEAPON ). In my opinion you have done the correct thing, i say this because you wanted to enjoy your journey and be comfortable until you reach your home and that’s what everyone feels and you have been little bit selfish. If I would have been the man in your incident I would have not got up from the seat and in fact I would have told you to take an another cab.
I don’t think so you have done any mistake or you should feel bad about this incident.
Life: All I wanted to say was that its really ok to be selfish sometimes, and because I love u, I'm biased I don't want u to feel like he was stronger in that moment, m sure u can be even stronger in far tougher moments. But its ok to feel like u feel and u r right in thiniking the way u think.
I think nothing wrong was in this, I know as a human being you felt for that guy. However, unfortunately in our kind of society and atmosphere where woman is not safe at all in the night you could not had better choice to keep yourself safe. However, I would still suggest that it's better to drive through the crazy jam of Delhi-gurgaon instead of taking such risk / getting into this situation. Think about it!
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