I am your Conscience, talk to me..

Its the most difficult thing to do
Standing naked in front of your conscience,
Your mirror, the clear transparent reflector
While you identify your spots, weaknesses, at times your ugly being
It requires Trust, Belief, Faith in your conscience

But do it.
Its the conscience that will then show
At the end of the dark tunnel that faint but definite glow
And each time you get lost in the dark
It will show you the truth all stark
Nudge, cajole, shake you up to remind,
Never should you go back into the dark rewind

It will change the hideous to the gorgeous
And you would come out stronger, a character that will stand, unhindered, unfaltering,
High in the face of all the wind, the storm, the tempest
You my dear will ride ahead, Tall, soft but the toughest
Shining bright, proudly modest.

Not just because its your conscience that will be true, to no other but you
But because its 'only' your conscience that will be true, to you

So don't lie, don't hide, don't run away
Treat me as your conscience
Talk to me....
Whole Soul Truly Truthfully
As if its you, your conscience
Show me your blemishes, show them to me
Let me put a loving balm,
and take away your worry

Don't lie, Don't hide, don't run away
Please take my hand as I take yours
I too am not perfect, I too have my blemishes
Give me that thrust to put my trust in you
Allow me to show you my blemishes
Lets work on it together
I am your conscience
Talk to me...

"Con"nected

t kept saying
"Dont build things on your past
Know that it wont last".

It may be ok for you to stay "con"nected
But do you realise that the other feels conned instead.

Too many negotiations; will not do, will do
How does one believe what is being said will be stuck to?

You may think all this is ok,
It is not believe me.
Because you have to sometimes
From the other's point of view see.

Being nasty only infuses poison
Fights, arguments for no rhyme or reason
It does not lead to anything other than hurt
Turning all that was gold, into nothing but dirt.

Kuchh Yaadein, Kuchch Lamhein Aur Kuchh Intezaar..

"Pained at each pore, Right down to the core
To the edge, Hanging from that ledge
I know you down there somewhere..
I just wish I knew for sure, Somewhere=right where I fall"

"Hum aapke intezaar mein bikhar jaayen to kya?
Farz sirf itna ho ki ye waqt minuton main..
.. aur minute lamhe bankar bikhar jaaye.
Intezaar yun to na karwaaiye..."

Lover's tiff, Yet that romantic whiff..
"Wherefrom?" I ask
You say " 'coz in my heart you are cast."
"What matters?", questions me
You say, " It's our hearts don't you see?"
I Smile and say, " I love thee, I love thee" :)

Kolkata Diaries-I

A few experiences in the City of Joy all packed in my one year stint there...

Putting them down as Kolkata Diaries-in no particular order..

19th June 2006

ye zameen chaand se behtar nazar aati hai humey.........
another Beautiful night...wet to the core....romantic..Raining. Absolute Bliss.
mere khuda tu mujhe ek aur zindagi de...

It all started with a hot, humid itchy day, that was scorching to the core..the real heat of June.and June in Kolkata...As the day drew to a close, it gave way to a breeze, probably from the mountains. the cool breeze slowly took over the heat of the day and then the clouds just covered the entire sky, giving no space to any kind of scorcher..

and slowly the drops fell from underneath the scorcher, from tiny and spaced out to bigger drops and pouring..
and suddenly Someone realised that adding in the wind would create that 'perfect' space...it happened..the wind simply poured inside
Sprayed all over my body, filled my senses. It poured back into each pore, that, which had managed to ooze out in each of its scorching milli and mega moments..
Nature has its own way of giving all that it takes from you.
Beautiful....

....as i hum another song in my head
woh lamhe, woh baatein, koi na jaane..thi kaisi raatein, barsaatein..wo bheegi bheegi yaadein...

"Life of Pi" by Yann Martel

This book is my all time favorite. When I read it, in Kolkata, a little more than 2 years now, I was quite overwhelmed with the most extreme reactions, most contradictory feelings and thoughts and eventually this is what I put down:

A story-unbelievably true.
A must read if one wants to know and believe in wonders of nature, the strength of mind, imaginings of closed eyes, man's animal instinct, animal's human instinct,
A day of nights, a night of days...
Highs, lows, crests, troughs, love, hate, disgust, hunger, starvation, rejuvenation.

If one wants to believe in "Life", the value of just "a drop" of water, of an oar, of 7 oars, of a pen, paper.

Of another life, of companionship, of someone to talk to, of no one to talk to,
Of an anchor, hope, belief, of giving up hope and then,
Of miracles, miracles because of your own belief in not giving up, of moments of despair and those of prayer.

Importance of intelligence, and of non intelligence.

A story of..understanding life after death, death after life- of life and death together
Of smell, sight, taste, touch, hearing
Of no smell, no sight, no taste, no touch, no hearing.
Of existence, of non existence, of shapes and no shapes...

I think am doing injustice to this book, by trying to describe these 100 chapters. It just has to be read and experienced as you read...

:) this smile plastered on my face!

:)
hehe!
:)
:))
:)))

All smiles....why?
well got to know something so reassuring that well just cannot get this expression off my face
Somebody considers me family :P
hehe! hehe!hey hey hey!!!
yipppie yipppie yay!

Thanks T!
Thanks T's D
Thanks G (as in Thank God :)
:))
:))))

S, i want to share this with you!

On the other side of 30

I celebrated my 30th Birthday last week on Tuesday.
Well don't gawk at the 'figure'! And just in case you are thinking about curves move over!
It is the 'figure' 30 that am referring to!

I feel 30, just that 30 is not an age which is defined as 'old' by any standards (surely not by my standards)
For some reason though, people declare 'THIRTY!!!!'...as 'o...ld' and phrases like,
"hmm..so you are now brinking on 30 huh!" OR "how does it feel to be..ahem..'On the other side of 30'??!!"
....ring all about!


On the other side of 30!
they ask me? I answer:
I see a whole new world

On the other side of 30 I see
Permanency
Stability
Financial independence and a firm foothold in my career
Steadied emotional anchorage
Maturity strengthened with experience

Indeed..A whole new world
A new beginning!


I am grateful to God, truly grateful to give me wide experiences, varied in nature..

Let me tell you a little about my birthday...and the bitter sweet run-up to it..


Got a special midnight treat
As I was with someone sweet!
And then a score,
spent standing outside my home door!

Special elders slept through the midnight wishes
While I shed a tear as was really missing my sisses!
With the bright sun came morning
And was showered with blessings

Love, hugs and kisses
made up for all the misses :)

While i wore dabs of satinny orange on a black beautiful cover,
My friend beautiful gave me a top satinny, lots of flower
Expecting the day from bitter to sweet a range
half a wonderful day at work, what a change!

The last working quarter came with lilies and roses
A cake to cut and many a birthday proses
A call sudden but wonderful announced a special entry
And I ran down, covered six floors from the pantry

Comments on how I carry my dress
Feelings mixed, angered happiness
Special someone sat beside Daffy Lean
Waiting for me to take him to oriental cuisine

A round of reconciling...to and fro's
Half smiles and half furrowed brows
Forgiven, forgotten, misunderstandings clear
Its lovely to have by your side someone very very dear

Contemplating what after the Lovely munch,
Should it be the big screen - "When we met"
or time with each other maybe books a bunch?
Aromatic being, Books, Poetry, Coffee...., totally swept!

Followed by prayer for the new born girl
and an overwhelmingly cute birthday jingle
Walking up home with that someone special
Did not know what was in store..? Truly exceptional

A connection, an apparel,
A good read, fragrance, lots of sparkle!
Her cake, the very best!
3 generations! aint I blessed :)

Aaah too early to have taken rest
My bearer asked me to take the bump test!
So 30 in all is what I got
loads of fun with pain was fraught :)

You must be seeing all the smiles now
Its because by then I had started to wonder 'WOW!
And then with my predecessor's predecessor
Went to have our evening chow!

Special someone was so much family
Unspokenly accepted, the path now less up-hilly
Another wonderful couple friend joined
Happy Beginnings were slowly coined!

Thank you One and Thank you All
For making it big, a thing so small.
I love the fact that we are together
Was in the air, just like a feather

Feather to wings, it won't take time
Higher and higher, a tough climb
Flying, the sky of happiness we will find
Locked into togetherness we shall bind

That's how was my day of birth
30 years ago when I landed on earth
was it a stork, or from heaven i fell
don't know, but when its over in this very earth I'll gell