Nemo's Rebirth and After....

Nemo's Rebirth...
The soul, seeking freedom. The bowl is no more a boundary. No plastic floats.
Just heart, mind, flesh...all that's real and feeling..
Hurting and healing...
The life energy ready to give and take
Poised for a new start its a new world out there..A resolve that's made..

This time as a bird...building his own nest,
To and fro, day in day out, twig by twig, stuck together with the love in his heart and the faith in his mate..
A resolve to build it strong..stronger...
As he lovingly sees their little bough nest being put together, the bird,
He knows the love nest will hold forth any storm, any tempest, any cyclone..

With that faith in God, he flies now,
Soaring, higher, farther, free'er,
Fresh wind in his face and his mate as his brace..

Smo(c)king!

Kill me!
Burn me!
Asphyxiate me!
I want to die inside!
I don't have anyone to love!
Not even myself
I don't have anyone who loves me!
Not even me!
hah! life is too short enjoy it!
Why bother about health and things like that!
Let me get that taste!
I have to die anyways, let me live it to its fullest!
Live by dying every day!!!!!!
S'mo(c)k'e myself to death!

You must be wondering me, that hard core advocate and supporter of "No s'mo(c)k'ing", why is she writing this!!!

Today a colleague of mine 'N', sits right next to my desk, came in and said, ":) Hi! Are you better today, in mood and health?"
(was not feeling well at all yesterday and was under tremendous work pressure)

"Much better thank you", said I and then a whiff of s'mo(c)k'e, I was surprised and shocked!
"N, you s'mo(c)k'ed!!!!????"

":(, Yes I did."

"I thought you don't s'mo(c)k'e , had quit?? :-0"

"Yes, actually a friend caught me down at the porch and just s'mo(c)k'ed...my wife also does not know. I used to s'mo(c)k'e 15 a day at one point in time."

" Then how did you manage to leave s'mo(c)k'ing....it must have been really difficult right, doesn't the s'mo(c)k'e beckon you?"

"Yes, was difficult, but just left it, In B school I used to s'mo(c)k'e 15 a day and used to get tired in 2 games, now even 10 at a stretch don't tire me out. By the way do you know that a person who s'mo(c)k'es, and leaves it needs atleast 7 years to repair all the damage done? I advise everybody, don't ever s'mo(c)k'e once you have left. Not even that one off, because two lead to four, eight and in no time you are back to s'mo(c)k'ing as many!

Whats to it? Whats so great about s'mo(c)k'ing? There's nothing good about. Can you imagine being held in a gas chamber, where there is very little oxygen and you are burning and asphyxiating to death. Where you can't breathe because well there is nothing to breathe in, there's only s'mo(c)k'e that breathes you in. Just because its not you but your lungs that are facing this, does not mean you should happily keep s'mo(c)k'ing while your lungs go through this gas chamber every second of the time you spend s'mo(c)k'ing. I don't understand, I don't....

You'll See It When You Believe It!

Carrying on I thought life is going great
Suddenly a streaking light and I put on the brake

A voice said

"Take stock
You might just mock
At your own complacency
Without knowing your actual potency!"
Why don't you start living?
Start Living Now, LIVING DELIBERATELY!"

"And here I say again my friend- Take stock
Take stock now and hold on to that thought!"

Belief leads to your Experience
Belief leads to Reality you make!
Belief leads to what you choose to create
Belief leads to your own fate!

Your own belief, Deliberate and Sure
Knowing, Conscious, Aware and Pure!
Nothing my friend, nothing more
Your own belief, Deliberate and Sure

Stop believing --> "All what I have is where it ends "
Believe instead -->"This is the beginning of great things at my end"
There's more than meets the eye to see
Start creating your own reality

The mantra it seems is very plain
Behold!
Power of this pulls you out of the mundane

I'll believe it when I see it!- STOP NOW!!!
You'll See It When You Believe It!-
Live Deliberately, Create Reality That's How!

Believe it!

I am your Conscience, talk to me..

Its the most difficult thing to do
Standing naked in front of your conscience,
Your mirror, the clear transparent reflector
While you identify your spots, weaknesses, at times your ugly being
It requires Trust, Belief, Faith in your conscience

But do it.
Its the conscience that will then show
At the end of the dark tunnel that faint but definite glow
And each time you get lost in the dark
It will show you the truth all stark
Nudge, cajole, shake you up to remind,
Never should you go back into the dark rewind

It will change the hideous to the gorgeous
And you would come out stronger, a character that will stand, unhindered, unfaltering,
High in the face of all the wind, the storm, the tempest
You my dear will ride ahead, Tall, soft but the toughest
Shining bright, proudly modest.

Not just because its your conscience that will be true, to no other but you
But because its 'only' your conscience that will be true, to you

So don't lie, don't hide, don't run away
Treat me as your conscience
Talk to me....
Whole Soul Truly Truthfully
As if its you, your conscience
Show me your blemishes, show them to me
Let me put a loving balm,
and take away your worry

Don't lie, Don't hide, don't run away
Please take my hand as I take yours
I too am not perfect, I too have my blemishes
Give me that thrust to put my trust in you
Allow me to show you my blemishes
Lets work on it together
I am your conscience
Talk to me...

"Con"nected

t kept saying
"Dont build things on your past
Know that it wont last".

It may be ok for you to stay "con"nected
But do you realise that the other feels conned instead.

Too many negotiations; will not do, will do
How does one believe what is being said will be stuck to?

You may think all this is ok,
It is not believe me.
Because you have to sometimes
From the other's point of view see.

Being nasty only infuses poison
Fights, arguments for no rhyme or reason
It does not lead to anything other than hurt
Turning all that was gold, into nothing but dirt.

Kuchh Yaadein, Kuchch Lamhein Aur Kuchh Intezaar..

"Pained at each pore, Right down to the core
To the edge, Hanging from that ledge
I know you down there somewhere..
I just wish I knew for sure, Somewhere=right where I fall"

"Hum aapke intezaar mein bikhar jaayen to kya?
Farz sirf itna ho ki ye waqt minuton main..
.. aur minute lamhe bankar bikhar jaaye.
Intezaar yun to na karwaaiye..."

Lover's tiff, Yet that romantic whiff..
"Wherefrom?" I ask
You say " 'coz in my heart you are cast."
"What matters?", questions me
You say, " It's our hearts don't you see?"
I Smile and say, " I love thee, I love thee" :)

Kolkata Diaries-I

A few experiences in the City of Joy all packed in my one year stint there...

Putting them down as Kolkata Diaries-in no particular order..

19th June 2006

ye zameen chaand se behtar nazar aati hai humey.........
another Beautiful night...wet to the core....romantic..Raining. Absolute Bliss.
mere khuda tu mujhe ek aur zindagi de...

It all started with a hot, humid itchy day, that was scorching to the core..the real heat of June.and June in Kolkata...As the day drew to a close, it gave way to a breeze, probably from the mountains. the cool breeze slowly took over the heat of the day and then the clouds just covered the entire sky, giving no space to any kind of scorcher..

and slowly the drops fell from underneath the scorcher, from tiny and spaced out to bigger drops and pouring..
and suddenly Someone realised that adding in the wind would create that 'perfect' space...it happened..the wind simply poured inside
Sprayed all over my body, filled my senses. It poured back into each pore, that, which had managed to ooze out in each of its scorching milli and mega moments..
Nature has its own way of giving all that it takes from you.
Beautiful....

....as i hum another song in my head
woh lamhe, woh baatein, koi na jaane..thi kaisi raatein, barsaatein..wo bheegi bheegi yaadein...

"Life of Pi" by Yann Martel

This book is my all time favorite. When I read it, in Kolkata, a little more than 2 years now, I was quite overwhelmed with the most extreme reactions, most contradictory feelings and thoughts and eventually this is what I put down:

A story-unbelievably true.
A must read if one wants to know and believe in wonders of nature, the strength of mind, imaginings of closed eyes, man's animal instinct, animal's human instinct,
A day of nights, a night of days...
Highs, lows, crests, troughs, love, hate, disgust, hunger, starvation, rejuvenation.

If one wants to believe in "Life", the value of just "a drop" of water, of an oar, of 7 oars, of a pen, paper.

Of another life, of companionship, of someone to talk to, of no one to talk to,
Of an anchor, hope, belief, of giving up hope and then,
Of miracles, miracles because of your own belief in not giving up, of moments of despair and those of prayer.

Importance of intelligence, and of non intelligence.

A story of..understanding life after death, death after life- of life and death together
Of smell, sight, taste, touch, hearing
Of no smell, no sight, no taste, no touch, no hearing.
Of existence, of non existence, of shapes and no shapes...

I think am doing injustice to this book, by trying to describe these 100 chapters. It just has to be read and experienced as you read...